This one might get me in trouble...

I do think my kid is pretty cute, but sometimes he just looks too much like the love child of W.C. Fields...

and Mr. Magoo:

That is to say, the cutest little love child of W.C. Fields and Mr. Magoo.

Roaring Ticklish Spider Monster...

Tess: This is a Roaring Ticklish Spider Monster [holds up claw hands]. Do you
         know what a Roaring Ticklish Spider Monster is?
Jaime: No. What?
Tess: It's just Spider-man.
Jaime: Who told you what Spider-man is? Where did you learn about Spider-
         man?
Tess: I don't know. I don't know what Spider-man is. I don't think he is a
         monster. I think he is just a super hero. I don't think he saves people. He
         just spiders up all the world.

Playing hospital...

Tess has been playing hospital since we got home from one. But she seems to think you mainly go to the hospital to get your hair fixed. This is how she "fixed" Jaime's hair today at her hospital:

Tess meets her brother...

Here are some videos from the last few days. Some are from my camera and some from my mom's phone. So, none of terribly good quality. But they are movies and sometimes people like these. That's it. Just videos. Baby videos are really boring, so at the bottom are a couple of Tess:

A couple of the poor little guy being tortured after entering this world. The theme for these videos is crying:

Here we are at the hospital still. This is Tess, Jaime and the boy. Tess was a little weird around him at first, not knowing what to think:

From my mom's phone. Tess meeting the little one. "Don't cry little baby. I'm here." Talking louder helps calm babies. We also had to explain to her that we don't pat his entire face with our entire hand.

This is when we got him home yesterday:

And finally, Tess wanted me to share a video of her. So, here are a couple of her latest greatness:

Dancing in her princess skirt. It's a denim skirt. She wears it most days. My favorite part is when the songs end, she tries to do finishing moves from Dance Central. And her ballet moves are pretty good.

Stream of conscious singing at first and then singing baby song to George (before he got here)

We have kids...

We finally have kids! Our little boy finally decided to not be a horrible person and was born this morning at 10:56. We had an ultrasound last week and it showed a baby with chunky cheeks. And he came out weighing 8 lbs 7 oz. But really all his weight was in his nose. Jaime keeps getting upset with me for saying it, but he's about 80% nose. 10% arms/legs. 10% poop. He's pooped 5 times already since coming out. But we still think he's cute.

Jaime made it through labor like a champ. She really was absolutely amazing. I can't stress how nervous I was about the natural birth, and I am just amazed at the wife I have. I really do believe she was meant for me. I am so terribly unsympathetic, and yet she is the most pleasant woman I know. So, I don't know why I was so nervous. She didn't seem to know this morning that she was going through labor and was supposed to be grumpy, swearing and monstrous. If I were going through labor, I would view it as a free pass at saying all the worst swear words as many times as I could before it ended. But not Jaime. She just breathed and "meditated" and even cracked a smile after doing some pushing. She's not right in the head. The doctor and nurse actually congratulated us on being the best at birthing they've ever seen. We agreed with them that we are the best.

Enough of that. Here are pictures...

Right after coming out and still with nastiness all over him. I actually watched him come out, cut the cord and saw the placenta. I had vowed not to do any of those things. I really don't know why I did. They'll haunt me forever.

Here he is cleaned up but looking beat up:

And finally after it all, looking content:

I'll put up more pictures and videos later.

We named him George Kells, which hasn't been too popular with a lot of people we've told. But you all didn't get to choose, suckers! AHAHahahahahaaaack! Anyhow, we've done a good job going with family names with our kids. Tess isn't a family name, but Tailua (her middle name) is Jaime's grandma. This is George's name's history/genealogy:

George Kells Alley (2012)
             |
Josh Alley (1981)
             |
George LeGrand Alley (1955)
             |
John Richard Alley (1920)
             |
George Alley (1878)
             |
Stephen Webb Alley (1832)
             |
George Alley (1792)

I highlighted the name George there in case you didn't pick up on the trend. 220 years of George's. We couldn't break the trend! And his Aunt Kellie won this year's NCAA bracket tourney, so giving him her name only seemed fair! Tess was named by her Grammy who won the tournament in 2008.

Roswell Mill...

The little guy and his lovely host are having such a good time together that we still haven't had any indication of his coming to financially cripple us. So, yesterday we went for a walk to try and get gravity to force the parasite out:

It didn't work.

Sleep disturbances...

This was written by Jaime a month or more ago, but she never posted it for some reason. Things our daughter will wake up (and then wake us up) for in the middle of the night:

-To get her a drink of water
-To help find her My Little Pony that fell out of the bed
-To take her rubber band out of her hair
-To put her rubber band back in her hair
-To tell us she actually wants to get back in her own bed
-To put her blankets back on her in anal-retentive order
-To help her go pee in the potty (she actually makes it about 50% of the time!)

Things she apparently will NOT wake up for:

-POOP!!! Coming out of her body!!! The heck???

So weird, right? At least she's never been one to smear it on the walls. *shudder* Almighty Heaven please let this next one also not be a smearer.

All quiet on the baby front...

Well this lovely lady was supposed to have a baby today, but she's blowing it so far: