A Couple of Videos...

I wanted to share a couple of videos. I don't know about the rest of you, but I really dislike videos on blogs and websites. I would much rather just go through images at my own pace. But I'm going to go against my own standards here to share these videos, since obviously, images can't get across the awesomeness.

And the awesomeness is my children in these videos. First up, George who will some day be a songwriter/composer/diva:

That song had already been going on for a couple of minutes when I turned on the camera, and it would have kept going and going if I hadn't gotten up to fetch something. The boy is a sanger.

And then there is the girl. Sweet, sweet Tessaloo. I laugh every time I think of this. Saturday night, this was the scene I witnessed as her mother was about to run out of patience calling this girl to come to her bedroom and get ready for bed. And, of course, I couldn't intervene:

First (Worst...Fwirst?) Days of School...

Remember that one time that you had a daughter that would never shut up? And how you mated with another extreme introvert but somehow managed to create the most extroverted creature the world has ever seen? And then how you used to feel so bad because you work from home and would force that extrovert to watch more Netflix than she should because you needed to get some work done? And finally how you were so excited to put her into pre-school so that she could actually be around other kids and be in extrovert heaven with all the interaction that gives me nightmares at night?

Do you remember that? How did that go for you?

Here's how we thought that was going to go for us (Tessa on her way to her first day of school):

Except then we get her to school, and she ends up like this, while wailing for Jaime not to leave her there:



It's been really awesome. Lots of crying. Lots of fun for Tessa's Momma. On the first day, she actually did just fine, but since that first day, she has been making a big stink about not wanting to stay. The second day, she came home and told us that she didn't want to go anymore. The fascist of a pre-K teacher has too many rules. What rules, you ask? Oh, let me tell you. This tyrant makes Tessa sit Criss-cross apple sauce (Indian style for those of you not 4 years old) instead of with her legs straight out. Call the Tea Party! This is un'Merican dernit! Also, that was the only rule Tessa could name. But honestly, how can anyone be expected to follow ONE rule?

Tonight, I was asking Tess about the fits she throws when Jaime drops her off, what the deal is and how to cope with having to stay there at school. I asked her how long she continued to cry today, and she said for about a half an hour. She has no clue what a half hour is, so who knows how long that really was. I don't know why I even asked. But she said she went off by herself and sang a little song she made up to calm herself.

Then she made me sing it with her. She would sing a line and then pause for me to repeat after her:

I wish Mommy was here with me
I wish Mommy was my teacher
Mommy is my favorite parent
I love Mommy so much

I guess all the Netflix I let her watch has done nothing to boost my approval rating. If your heart isn't broken yet, then let me tell you how she described the scene at school after Jaime abandoned her:

"I sat by myself for a while, and I sang it very softly to myself so no one could hear me and be tempted."

Tempted by what?! So, school is the best and we're loving it every day!

The Growls...

Our children are most definitely not developing on the same level. At George's age, Tess could pretty much hold a conversation with people. And she did that a lot. George at George's age...not so much. He seems to be developing at a more normal rate. It was really fun being able to have conversations with Tess at such an early age, even if she would NEVER stop talking. But George might be a little more entertaining with his own forms of communication. If you ask him anything starting with "Did you" or "Do you", he will respond with: "Mm Hmm." Even if it is a complete lie, he will answer in the affirmative.

He is showing signs, though, of being an animal whisperer. So, I think his intellect is allowing him to communicate on a level we just don't understand. He speaks bunny and frog. I was unaware before this that bunnies and frogs had such a distinct form of communication. Behold:

He does do other sounds too. Dogs and cats both say: "Woof woof." As do horses, donkeys, monkeys, squirrels, shadows he sees outside the window, etc. I'm pretty sure everything else makes the sound of a demonic, possessed soul.

We are raising Gollum!

George update!

I never blog anymore, but I decided I'm copying my amazing friend Tiffany, a known Supermom-of-4, and doing a snapshot "update" on my kids here - all about who they are at their current stage of life. Tonight it's all about George! I'll do Tess another night this week, hopefully.

George! (age 14 months) (pics of George and George from back in April...Josh has all the more recent ones on his computer)

• Has 7 teeth, going on 8. Like Tessa, a pretty easy teether. "There's just sharp pointy bone piercing through my flesh, mom, NBD." 
• Is a confident walker/proto-runner! He took his first steps about a week before his birthday back in April and hasn't looked back. 
• His favorite thing is to be chased. All I have to do is quietly say "I'm gonna gitchoo" and he takes off as fast as his legs can carry him, giggling like a hyena until he trips over something, not infrequently his own feet. 
• Related after playing chase: he also loves to be tickled...is very ticklish on his feet, tummy, and neck. 
• It literally gives me physical pains to be so cliche, but this kid is such a BOY. He is much more physical than Tessa was. Example: George just learned that he can climb on to the kitchen chairs, and from there onto the table. Never had to worry about that with Tess, she who slept in her crib until age 3 and never figured out how climb out. 
• Loves to climb on our little kangaroo climber and slide down head first on his belly. 
• Can say "mama", "dada", "ball", "nana", "woof woof", and "meow", but his favorite thing to say is "atsat?" or "atsis?" He says these two things nonstop. In between repeating my answers to these questions all day I like to think they prefigure the inquisitive mind of a scientist/philosopher/etc., naturally. 
• Tessa had a bigger vocabulary at his age, but funnily enough I think George's economy of language is its own kind of intelligence. It's like I can see the wheels of his brain turning and they are saying: "It's obvious from my hand gestures what I want, and I yelled "Ma!" to emphasize how much I want it, WHY would I be interested in repeating the arbitrary sound YOU're making??? Are you daft, woman? Just give me what I want! MAAAAA!!" 
• Is going through a shrieking phase...emits an earsplitting yell approximately every 7 seconds, for various reasons - to demand things, of course, but also to protest when demands are not immediately met, also while hitting things, also to be heard over Tessa the nonstop-talker, also just to break up those rare moments when there have been 6 consecutive seconds of silence. 
• Very much enjoys hitting things, Tessa in particular. Also books, which are for hitting, not reading.  
• Tessa is his idol...he adores her and is already very much up in her grill like a little brother, wanting to do everything she does and have everything she has. She makes him laugh the hardest. 
• Gets super jealous when I pay any attention to Tessa. If I give her a hug or hold her in my lap I know a few shrieks are imminent. Also makes the funniest "offended" face when this happens, with his jaw stuck out and his eyes nervous, like "WHAT???? IS SHE DOING IN MY SPOT????" 
• Used to be an *awesome* eater...then just a couple weeks ago he picked up a mild stomach bug for a day or two, and ever since he's recovered his appetite hasn't been the same. He still eats, but food is much more an exploratory activity, not just packing it all in. He usually tries everything, and even chews it up, but whether or not he swallows it is a crapshoot now. 
• Loves all fruit (almost - not as enamored of bananas as he used to be) and avocados (which are technically also a fruit, I think), and oatmeal for breakfast every day. 
• 50/50 chance at any given moment during the day that his pointer finger will be up his nose. I suspect he has set a goal to get his second knuckle up there too. Which, if true, he is being very tenacious about trying to achieve it! It makes Josh a little worried that he may hurt himself. 
• Still likes to bite...luckily not while nursing anymore. But will almost always give me a hug and then bite my shoulder for emphasis. Also likes to hold my arm during car rides and bite it to entertain himself. I don't have very sensitive pain receptors in my arm I guess b/c I usually let him, for a little while at least.  
• HATE HATE HATES riding in the car. Even short trips are torture! (For Mom and Dad also).  
• Loves his stuffed dog and cat "Puppsio" and "Kittsio" (named by Tessa) - shows his love by alternately giving sweet hugs and then clamping them in his jaws and shaking his head back and forth vigorously. 
• Fascinated by technology...phones, remotes, laptops, etc. Enjoys hitting technology. 
• Loves to dance and sing! Will start to sing if anyone else is singing and will start to dance if I turn on music. 
• Loves to give big, open mouth kisses that turn Mommy's heart into goo and make her forget her arm is covered in bite marks.

Post #200...

In honor of our 200th post on this blasted site, I would like to honor myself a little bit. It's only fitting. Nothing about the kids in this one. So, if you're a grandma looking for cute pictures of your grandkids, this will disappoint you. If you are one of the weirdos that comes to my blog after doing a google search for hermaphrodites, this will also disappoint you...pervert.
http://famalley.blogspot.com/2008/06/our-little-3-boned-hermaphrodite.html

Also it is a lie that we have done 200 posts. There are 12 drafts that have never been published. I don't know why. They aren't even dirty or scandalous. Although one is about what I think about while in the shower.

Speaking of which, I was thinking this morning (while in the shower) about what I would do if I had a time machine. As I was naked and surrounded by my body, I decided that if I ever get a time machine, I am going straight back to early-20s Me from college. And I would just follow myself around for years. Then every time Young Me would pick up a 3rd slice of pizza, giant bowl of ice cream or 4th burrito from Beto's...sweet, delicious Beto's (I will NEVER call you Rancherito's), I would smack Young Me and steal the pizza, bowl of ice cream, burrito or whatever unhealthy thing Young Me would eat.

Of course, Young Me would be upset and ask me what I was thinking and why Young Me had just been slapped and robbed (although young me would not say it without a few minor swears...neither would Old Me. It's a burrito, after all!). Then, as I was devouring whatever I had stolen from Young Me, I would explain that it was for our own good. Young Me wouldn't understand at first...but someday.

I really like this idea because I get a lot of delicious food out of it. And I'm pretty sure because I had taught Young Me to be healthy, then through the magic of the space-time continuum, I would be skinny when I went back to the future/present, while still being a horrible glutton during my visits to Young Me. Exercise be damned! I'm pretty sure there are no flaws in this plan.

Anyhow, on to honouring me. I spelled that with a U because I want this to seem like a big deal. I just wanted to share a few pictures that demonstrate my awesomeness...and my Mom's. This story basically tells itself, but I will interject from time to time.

Once upon a time, there were three sisters. They were lovely ladies (no one knows what color their hair is naturally). However, they liked to take pictures without their younger brother, and told him to get lost when there was a camera around because only sisters should be in the same picture.

So, this happened.

 At this point, they still didn't realize he was there, but actually split apart a little bit to make room for him after thinking the other sister was trying to push the other away a little bit.

And, of course, my Mom is awesome for having watched the entire thing from start to end without letting on. And for getting it on camera.

Happy fake 200th post! LYLAS 4eva 4life

My motivator

After a run in the Georgia heat at midday.

Me: Jaime, can I be done with trying to be healthy? Can I just be fat for the rest of my life?

Tess (standing nearby): You already are fat.

I think she's got a future as a personal trainer. Brutal honesty.

Faces...

These are the faces my children make (I got some good pictures today and am too lazy to actually type anything up). So enjoy adorable expressions--mostly of annoyance and boredom from the girl:

 Really sad that I had my camera set to some strange settings so that this one came out blurry. She was actually smiling for once: