I have blog drafts that haven't been published (for good reason). Here is one of those.
Shakespeare is one of the topics we don't bring up very often in our home because it leads to these types of arguments.....
[Enter Chorus] (the chorus is inside my head and narrates my life)
Here we see a Shakespearean film on screen,
In fair Roswell, where we lay our scene,
The film concludes and the chorus sings
Hey nonny, nonny! Hey nonny, nonny, hey.
Act 1: Scene 1
Jaime: I didn't like that movie all that much.
Josh [exaggerated sarcasm]: Why not? It won Oscars. What could you possibly dislike about it?
Jaime: Well for one, it was entirely inaccurate historically.
Josh: Like the part about Shakespeare writing his own plays?
Jaime: I can't have conversations with you about Shakespeare. You turn into the biggest nerd.
Chorus: Nerd? Nerd?! Everyone knows Christopher Marlowe wrote all of Shakespeare's plays (that illiterate hack)!
Act 1: Scene 2
[After more argument.]
Josh: You were told by your 9th grade English teacher that Romeo & Juliet was written by the man whose name is on the play and you believed them.
Jaime: Maybe it was 9th grade for you. But in Virginia...6th grade.
Jaime: Yes. [this goes on for a few days]
Josh: There is no way you read Shakespeare in 6th grade. 6th graders don't have the mental capacity to understand Shakespeare.
Jaime: Maybe in Kentucky...
Josh: No! No 6th grader can understand Shakespeare.
Jaime: I don't even know why I read it in 6th grade. My memory is of it being in Geography class.
Josh: I can't talk to you about Shakespeare. Why would you make up memories to lie about this?
Chorus: Conspiracy theories from the 16th century are one thing, but Shakespeare in a 6th grade Geography class? Who's the crazy one here?