Monday, July 27, 2009

Pillow talk (Don't tell Jaime I'm posting this)...

In case you missed the conversation we had a while ago in bed, here are some of the more interesting parts. I wrote them down after Jaime had fallen asleep because the conversation was so life-changing for me:

Me: How much do you think a toilet costs?
Jaime: I don't have any idea.
Me: Yeah, me either.
Jaime: 350?
Me: Yeah. That's what I was thinking. Except a prime number.
Jaime: 357?
Me: Perfect...except that's not a prime number.

....long pause....

Me: Did you hear me when I said that's not a prime?

...a few minutes pass:

Me: I hate people.
Jaime: Don't you know we came from people? So you can't hate people.
Me: My family's not people. They're my family.
Jaime: So what are they? Plants?
Me: Plants? Why would you go with plants? You could have said any animal or insect. You could've said monkeys.
Jaime: I just decided to go with another kingdom. I skipped genus, phylum, all that and went to the other kingdom.
Me: Why not something like cyborgs? or zombies?

...Long discussion about what a cyborg is.

Me: Did you know that zombies are the top of the food chain?
Jaime: No they aren't.
Me: Yes, they are. It goes plants, animals, people, zombies.
Jaime: No. It goes plants, animals, people, lions.
Me: Lions? What? Lions? Are you kidding?
Jaime: No, wait. It goes plants, animals, people, lions, then hyenas eat the dead lions and fungus eats the dead hyenas.
Me: And then people eat the fungus and the zombies eat the people.

...more silence

Jaime: I love you.
Me: I love you too.

...short silence.

Me: Did you believe me when I said it?
Jaime: Why? Should I not believe you?
Me: No. I just was wondering if you believed me.
Jaime: Oh. I didn't even hear you...or I forgot on account of the tiredness.

...silence.

Me: Did you hear me when I said it wasn't a prime number?

4 comments:

jen and michael said...

Nice, Josh, glad you posted that cause it was hilarious. Jen should probably post some of the things I say when I first get up in the morning, cause it usually involves carry-over from the odd dreams I always have. Latest one involved me being in a high school class learning how to be a herder of four-legged-people-sheep

Erin aka Conscious Shopper said...

You should write a book.

And if it turns out that your family are cyborgs, I'm going to be very upset because I hate science fiction involving computers taking over the world.

Anna said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

This totally cracked me up. This is Anna, Chris's wife and I am officially a fan of your blog

Denise said...

Second time I have cried reading your blog tonight! I miss you guys!